Manda and xuan met up today.

Manda loves it.
She really does. ((:

It was really fun, through all the tears and hysterics. Yes, tears. I cried. Told her so much; even the thing that I kept from everyone. Even my parents. But, even some things, you can’t tell anyone. Anyone at all. However, only that 2 people know. And, I’m not going to disclose any information about that. Just thought about it, 3 people know. Okay, that’s enough people who knows about it. Well, I hope that they don’t spread around that deep, dark, dirrty secret. One can only hope.

Sorry babe, but, I can’t even tell you this. It’s just too big. When the time is right though, I will tell you, and Freda and Wendy. But, it’s not that I don’t trust you guys okay? It’s just something that I’m really embarrassed about, and something, that is so big, and I really regret it. I do. And, you guys will just kick me a hundred times over for it. I know, cause I did.

Hmms. I seriously do, I admit, feel depressed. I keep thinking back these two months. It’s dragging me down. Just can’t forget. I have no idea why. It sucks; it really sucks. All these bad memories, just flood back into my mind. It sucks ya know. But, thanks xuan, for at least, TRYING to comfort me. kudos to you. Haha. Thanks for the tissue and stuff. Haha, it was so bad we left. I think we disrupted the whole quiet scene when we went in starbucks. And we so did studied. Haha. Took so many photos, bitching bout so many people, so many things. Haha. Feel down the couch like about three times? Haha. Crazy man. And I love the attention. Manda loves it. Haha. We shall do this next week. Haha. But, it was a little bad. After we left, it would be definitely be boring there again. Those guys lost their source of entertainment. Haha. And even though it’s gonna be an underage party, we still shall go crazy and have our fun rights? Haha. We shall run around topless and stuff. Whatever spontaneous stuff that we think of. Haha. Hmms, we must keep our promises okay? Haha. You MUST help me find one, help me get over that arse. Right? Haha, it’s taken me long enough.

But, for now, there’s midterms. Sigh. Crap man. I can’t study!!! It’s getting on my nerves.

RARHHHH!!

anyways, on a side note. i wanna be a baby again. ya know, no worries; none at all. it's like, when you're hungry, you cry. then, after you have eaten, you sleep. for hours, you don't need to think bout anything else. everything is done for you. you even have someone to bathe you! i mean how cool is that? then, on the streets, the all the attention goes to you. no matter whether you're an ugly, cute, pretty, fat, distorted, black, white, yellow, hideous, revolting, vommit worthy, gorgeous or skinny baby. then, everyone is rushing to entertain you, hold you in their arms. instant love i tell you. but, i wanna be a baby, not only cause of that, but, because, everything is real then. there's no corruption or superficiality. everything's just real and true. nothing more. no hate, no prejudice. none at all. you don't know anything at all. it's the simplest life to lead. you don't need to think, that much at least; no need to make decisions, no need to sit there and study and cram you arse off, you don't get heartbroken, you don't hate. what you see is what you get. you love wholeheartedly, cause your heart is not broken into a million tiny bits, that even though, even though you manage to piece it back together, after the mess of glue, tape, stickers, nails, staples, blutack; it is not whole. some miniscule, micro pieces of your heart is lost, never to be found. it will never be whole again. it just won't. and you get your mother's love and devotion, before all the madness nad corruption sets in, when your mother is not some crazy whacked out bitch who screams and scolds you at the slightest thing. cause, that's that. there's nothing more to it. plus, in singapore, parents get benefits, so yeah, why shouldn't your parents be happy; estatic, right? hmms, yeah, whatever. ok, this is so random. but, on the way home, i was thinking bout this. pure innocence.

innocently, with all the love she can muster,

manda.